Greetings, knowledge seekers.
I am called Sherpa. Since undergraduate education is very similar to surviving a 29029 feet (8848m) climb to Everest’s peak, I exist to help you successfully navigate any trials and tribulations you experience throughout your time here. From “What’s the difference between associate and adjunct faculty?” to “Is that ledge a safe one to which to attach my support rope?”, I can answer almost anything. While some questions are better handled by the gurus in the UHP office, I will help you develop the deep understanding that brings peace to your mind and soul. Turn inwards and reflect on what troubles you, then send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org with my name in the subject line, and the empty cup of doubt you hold in your heart may be filled with the great wisdom of the Sherpa.
What if no one has an acceptable question, you might ask? Well, in that case I shall impart the wisdom I’ve gathered over the collective eons of many lives. Remember, I am here to help ewe (though only distantly related genetically, we llamas feel a certain kindredship for our even-toed ungulates. It’s probably that we both have to be sheared…)
So send me your questions, intrepid inquisitors, and I will answer them.